Best Political Cartoon Ever

(Courtesy of Funny Times.)

Premonition

One thing I always appreciated about J-horror (and to a lesser extent K-horror) was the genre's ability to make plausible, if not downright terrifying, horror films about mundane things. I'm thinking of a cursed VHS tape (The Ring), haunted computers (Pulse), even a spooky cell phone (Phone).

However, when it comes to being pursued by a killer newspaper, that's when Fonzie goes flying over the proverbial shark tank. Thank god the makers of Premonition didn't adopt the title of the source novel, Newspaper of Terror. Yet that fairly sums up the ludicrous nature of the horror of this film. I won't bore you with the details -- it's from the same producers who brought us The Ring, The Grudge and Dark Water and has a similar vibe and nice production values. But seeing the male lead shriek in terror as a ratty piece of newsprint comes billowing at him ... I'm sorry, but I'm not coming along on this one.

For completists only.

Two Films Reviewed

I reviewed two recent films, both concerning China's Three Gorges Dam project, for the Asian Reporter. Since their archive of film reviews is listed by film, there are actually two different pages for the same piece. (The text is the same but the production stills are different.)

Up the Yangtze

Still Life

Noriko's Dinner Table

Those of you who've read Asia Shock know how much I dig Shion Sono's unforgetable cult film Suicide Club. The mysterious rolls of human skin, the weird little kids, the showers of blood, wicked glam rocker Rolly camping it up to beat the band! So you can imagine how intrigued I was by the release of Sono's sort-of prequel/sequel, Noriko's Dinner Table.

Oh my, it's bad. And not in a good way. 2 1/2 hours of meandering, ponderous, uninspired, dreary, indecisive, boring non-action. It's as if Sono set out to make the polar opposite of Suicide Club, filmwise; all the kinetic outrageousness of the prior film has been swapped out for endless, repetitive internal narrative, primarily in the minds of a couple of provincial high school girls. While teenage girls are not without their own unique appeal, being trapped in the mind of one is not where I want to be.

Noriko runs away to the big city, where she meets the mysterious Kumiko (sexy mononomial actress Tsugumi). Kumiko was behind the 54-girl mass suicide at Shinjuku station (we learn this way late in the film, far beyond the point of caring). She also has her own surrogate family business; she and her colleagues rent themselves out as make-believe family members to old people, creepy lonely guys, whoever. Noriko and her younger sister Yuka get recruited into the business and the payoff comes (again, way late) when their estranged father hires them for an uncomfortable, staged "reunion." Along the way there is the occasional bloodletting, but not enough to save the film from itself.

Some directors can do slow burn, some can't. I applaud Sono for the attempt -- always good for an artist to challenge himself. But there's something to be said for knowing your strengths and playing to them. In this regard, Sono has made a serious misstep. Here's hoping he returns to his own singular gift for movie madness.

At the Feet of The Nakadai

June 24th, 2008, 8:30 pm: I find myself at the Film Forum in New York City, sitting in the front row, a few feet away from the greatest living actor of post-war Japan, Tatsuya Nakadai. It's an evening of conversation interspersed with film clips and much applause. I can't believe my good fortune -- to be in such close proximity to my all-time favorite Japanese actor (whose praises I've sung as often as possible in my writing). It's all very surreal.

Before Nakadai's arrival, I chatted with folks in the audience and discovered that several of them had just obtained, or had already read, Stray Dogs & Lone Wolves. I even signed a few of copies. Ironic that, as I'd hoped to have the great man sign my own copy of the book! Unfortunately it was a strictly get on/get off affair so I had no opportunity to interact with him (which is fine; I'm not a big celebrity hound).

So yeah, it was something else. A great night. I did get to meet Teruyo Nogami, Kurosawa's old script girl, who'd been doing the town with Nakadai promoting her memoir, Waiting for the Weather. If I'd attended any of those other events, like the one at the Kinokuniya bookstore or the Japan Society, I'd have had ample chance to get up close and personal with Nakadai (as did my Brooklyn buddies Ric and Mel). But my wife and I were only in NYC for a couple of days, so c'est la vie.

In any case, as I sat looking up at The Nakadai relating anecdotes about the making of such magnificent films as The Human Condition, Sword of Doom and Sanjuro (among others), I realized that, at that moment, I was at the precise point in the universe I wanted to be. You don't get that too often in life. A great night indeed.

Battle of Okinawa

I was somewhat disappointed by this long-awaited Kihachi Okamoto film (released recently by AnimEigo) -- just wasn't as good as it shoulda been. Very long (2 1/2 hours), consisting largely of one breathless procedural scene after another (generals looking at maps, issuing orders, soldiers deploying, redeploying, etc.). Not much room for character development or real human drama (see Okamoto's far superior Japan's Longest Day for that.)

However it gets horrendously gory and shocking at the end, depicting the horrors of war in no small measure. "Sir, that woman we just passed ... she's holding a baby's leg ... " Lots of limbs everywhere (people committing suicide with grenades will do that). In fact, suicide becomes an increasingly significant factor, from the COs doing seppuku in a cave to a bunch of schoolgirls taking poison on a scenic beach.

Not much sign of Okamoto here, feel-wise. A shame; his dark humor and striking dramatic approach could have made this film far more compelling. Perhaps the script by Kaneto Shindo was just too busy -- the time required to develop a personal story (say for the wonderfully talented yet under-utilized Tatsuya Nakadai) was instead filled up by significant yet ultimately dramatically unfulfilling historical detail.

Recent rentals

Innocents with Dirty Hands
A fun if somewhat predictable French crime romp directed by Claude Chabrol. Kinda like Double Indemnity meets Sleuth in St. Tropez. Bonus: Romy Schneider looking beautiful and occasionally naked.

It's Alive
Another 70's horror film I never saw back then -- I was such a chickenshit kid. Not bad. Mutant monster baby (right) courtesy of a young Rick Baker (pre-An American Werewolf in London), but they didn't show it much. Val Lewton would be pleased.

No Country for Old Men
Drug-money-pursued-by-psycho-hitman thing, surprisingly absorbing ... for awhile. Then it just sort of peters out in the third act. There Will Be Blood was better. Javier Bardem was good, though, as the psycho with a frightening 70s hairdo.

Lust, Caution
Ang Lee's overlong tale of sex and intrigue in Japanese-occupied Shanghai and Hong Kong. Never thought I'd tire of watching people fuck. Perhaps it was just those particular people. The girl wasn't that hot and Tony Leung was too in character as a sadistic secret police official to be anything more than repulsive. And the ending sucked -- after two and a half hours, I was a little pissed.

The Darjeeling Limited
Natalie Portman naked. That's the best you can say for this Wes Anderson yawner. I lost interest around the time the dissolute, rich Americans save the poor little Indian kid -- decided the contents of my glass were more compelling ...

Goya's Ghosts
Natalie Portman naked and tortured (too bad V for Vendetta didn't opt for this combo). Then they age her 20 years and she goes for Oscar gold as a hideous crone (sadly her performance was overlooked). Stellan Skarsgard plays Goya (duh huh?). Political allegory more interesting than story (also features Javier Bardem, this time as a horny inquisitor).