Karaoke Terror

What is wrong with this picture? Well for one thing, the guy's got a makeshift spear sticking out of his neck and, in addition, appears to be having a hell of a piss as he expires from his wound (seems he was doing his business up against a fence when a woman on a scooter came by and harpooned him). This is one of several violent set pieces that serve more as MacGuffins than truly defining moments in what is essentially an offbeat indie film, rather than anything deeply dark or transgressive.

I'll admit I was a bit disappointed by Karaoke Terror (2003), a film that seems to want to stand alongside cinematic works like Dead or Alive and Battle Royale, but in the end just doesn't have the goods. Don't get me wrong, it has its own special charm, but charm isn't what I was looking for in a tale of two groups of karaoke pals (young guys in one, middle-aged women in the other) who wage an ever-escalating war against one another after one of the guys casually slashes one of the women to death in a rainy garden. It's based on the novel Popular Hits of the Showa Era by Ryu Murakami (who also gave us Audition), and I wonder if the source material wasn't a bit more intense than this playful rendering.

Great cast, though. There's Masanobu Asano, memorable for his red-headed psycho in Battle Royale and plucky boxer in Kid's Return; Ryuhei Matsuda, the androgynous Shinsengumi member in Taboo and the boa constrictor-wearing God/Satan character in Izo; Kayoko Kishimoto, Beat Takeshi's dying wife in Fireworks; Yoshio Harada, who's been in more great films than I could begin to list here (try Hunter in the Dark and Roningai for starters); and the manga-cute Miwako Ichikawa, who co-starred with Harada in Another Heaven.

Karaoke Terror isn't a bad movie, just a little too precious for this dark cinema aficionado.

Seeding of a Ghost

Is it really necrophilia if both sex partners are dead? What if the woman's corpse gets it on with the disembodied spirit of a man who'd previously raped her? And if, afterwards, the corpse's belly, fed with the blood of her grieving widower, distends into a glowing, pregnant orb and somehow discharges a monstrous hell spawn from the womb of the wife of the man who'd been the corpse woman's lover that in turn mutilates and dismembers the guests at a mah jong get-together, that's a good thing, right? It's questions like these that you'll have to face while looking on in horror at the Category III movie madness that is Seeding of a Ghost (1983), one of the most shockingly grotesque films ever to emerge from Hong Kong's own Shaw Brothers Studios. Most folks think of kung fu fighting when they hear the Shaw Brothers' name, but the studio cranked out a fair amount of jaw-dropping horror as well, as here in this film I only wish I'd covered in Asia Shock. I should mention that along the way we get scenes of people vomiting worms; a witchdoctor casting evil spells, his facial features growing more disfigured with every hex; a guy eating brains out of a coconut, washing it down with blood; a lot of nudity; some kung fu action; oh and that demonic thing, all fangs and tentacles, with a retractable human head to boot. Sure it gets a bit cheesy at times, like when an enterprising doctor jams a barbell into the jaws of the beast to comedic effect, but overall this is one outrageous splatterfest you won't want to miss.

Spider Forest

Korean arthouse can go a number of different ways. Sometimes you get a snoozer (Woman on the Beach, Woman is the Future of Man), other times you're assaulted with gut-wrenching brutality (The Isle, Oldboy), and every now and then you get both. Such a film is Spider Forest. The film is, at times, agonizingly slow, but there's something about this supernatural puzzler that keeps you hanging on. Just as you're about to nod off, a new development in the onion-peeling mystery pulls you back in.

The story concerns a young guy who wakes up in the titular forest and staggers to a small house where he discovers a gruesome scene of carnage. Soon thereafter he's beaten with a stick and run down by a car. In the aftermath of all this violence (or perhaps before or in the midst of it?) he finds himself shuffling back and forth through time, space and lost memories to piece together exactly what happened. Is he dead? In a coma? Or is it all just a fantasy? Like many a freaky Asian film, there's an elaborate backstory, the revelations doled out like breadcrums in the arachnid-infested woods.

In the final analysis, I believe this is an ultimately rewarding film, and would recommend it, but be forewarned: It's an ultra-slow burn and not for the short of attention span.

Monolith

Some of you may know that once I played bass in a heavy metal band. It is to dispel the various myths regarding my supposedly god-like status on the instrument that I hereby post some YouTube clips:

Endless Voyage
Black Cloud
Possession

A Chinese Torture Chamber Story

Where do I begin with this one? The opening castration scene? The martial arts couple wire-fu fucking in mid-air? The woman forced to ride a wooden horse with a ginormous wooden dildo in the saddle? The old water torture and bamboo under the fingernails? The man who literally jumps out of his own skin? The husband who services his wife with sex toys named "The Dwelling Bells," "Orgasmic Armor" and "Mr. Horn"? Or how about the guy who overdoses on aphrodisiac and discharges a fire hydrant-worthy, bloody ejaculation all over his wife and the surrounding area as he expires?

This 1994 Category III Hong Kong film cooks up a rich feast of sex, violence and depravity while folding in a healthy dollop of goofy humor. There really isn't one moment when something outrageous isn't happening in this picture. The story concerns the adorable (and adorably named ) Little Cabbage (Yvonne Yung Hung, above), a sweet, innocent virgin who is framed for murder and tortured mercilessly by officials of the Ching Dynasty, along with her benefactor, the equally blameless Yang Nai Wu (Lawrence Ng). The wicked ones get their comeuppance eventually, but not before these two suffer the torments of the damned. Lightening things up are comedy set pieces like the aforementioned aerial sex show featuring old Cat III favorites Julie Lee and Elvis Tsui (pictured right).

I'd recommend a double feature of A Chinese Torture Chamber Story and its Japanese counterpart The Joy of Torture (1968) to anyone who thinks torture porn is strictly a Bush-era phenom. And, as usual, the Asian filmmakers do it darker.

An Actor's Revenge

Finally saw the new AnimEigo digital transfer of An Actor's Revenge (aka Revenge of a Kabuki Actor) -- excellent! One of Kon Ichikawa's finest efforts. Visually, it reminds me of the darkly surreal work of Kazuo Ikehiro (another Daiei alum -- perhaps he had an influence on old Kon). Great look. The film is also a virtual who's who of Daiei actors of the 60s including Shintaro Katsu, Naoko Wakao and Raizo Ichikawa (not to mention everyone's favorite thuggish character actor Saburo Date in an uncharacteristically meaty role as treacherous merchant Kawaguchi-ya).

My only complaint was the casting of Kazuo Hasegawa in the lead role of an onnagata. Nothing against Hasegawa-san -- fine actor, always good in any role, but let's face it: As of 1963 he was somewhat past his prime (he was in the 1935 version for godsake; this was his 300th film!). It's a little hard to buy the premise that he's this hot, young, androgynous thing (no matter how many times the supporting cast says it) when you're looking at what is clearly a pudgy, middle-aged man in drag. For my money they should have given the role to Raizo; he would have been perfect. Instead, they squandered him in a tiny role as a two-bit thief. Katsu was similarly used, getting a dozen lines as a cantankerous, unibrowed priest/thief. I understand both these guys were major stars with their own franchises and heavy workloads but c'mon ...

The story, by Otokichi Mikami, was originally serialized in the Asahi Shimbun newspaper, so it's one of those rambling epics full of convoluted subplots concerning numerous members of the Edo demimonde. The film version is significantly streamlined thanks to the efforts of old pros Daisuke Ito and Teinosuke Kinugasa as well as the director's wife, Natto Wada.

Anyhow, outstanding film, must see, etc. etc. For an in-depth comparison of the new AnimEigo disk with the previously-available BFI region-2 version, see this piece courtesy of the fine folks over at DVD Beaver.

The Executioner

Watched this again last night. What a great flick. And I use the word "great" with the understanding that you, like I, consider any film featuring Sonny Chiba yanking a rib out of an attacker's chest, or Makoto Sato punching a guy so hard his eyeballs pop out of his head, to be great. Rounding out the trio is Eiji Go (who starred the same year as a psychotic thrill-killer in Zero Woman: Red Handcuffs), here playing a horny goofball decked out in a powder blue denim ensemble with matching puffy cap that positively screams 1974. Also along for the ride is sweet hottie Yutaka Nakajima, providing some eye candy for us and ensuring Go's painful priapism.

The literal translation of the Japanese title is Direct Hit! Hell Fist which is so much better than The Executioner, but what are ya gonna do? Directed by legendary Toei nutcase Teruo Ishii, it's more cheesy and outrageous than most Sonny Chiba outings, which is saying something. Nevermind the plot (some silliness concerning international drug-smugglers) -- just watch The Executioner for the insane brutality (or brutal insanity?) such as when, at a decadent party at the smuggler's mansion, the guests compete to see how far they can kick a semi-conscious Sonny. No really. They have measuring tape and everything. Or how about when Sonny is dangling off the side of a cliff from a rope whose ninja claw is embedded in the thigh of one of the bad guys? Do you love it? I love it.