Horror Stories

A couple of posts back I mentioned a Korean horror anthology, and here it is, Horror Stories (2012). I really wasn’t in the mood — it’s a screener, and I always feel obligated to watch ’n blog when someone sends me one, but then I put it off because it becomes that thing I have to do, and I’m so immature that I go into avoidance mode. So the thing has been sitting there for weeks, but I finally forced myself to watch it.

And you know what? It’s really good! No points for the title, but if you like Asian horror, you’re sure to enjoy this creepy quartet of stories (plus a somewhat disturbing frame story) directed by a half dozen k-horror filmmakers. As is often the case with omnibus horror flicks, the frame story involves someone telling scary stories that are then acted out. In this case, the teller is a teenage girl who’s been kidnapped by a serial killer.

The first tale involves two little kids who may or may not be in hell. It’s the most jump-scare heavy of the vignettes, courtesy of director Jeong Beom-sik (Epitaph). The second installment involves a serial killer on a plane. This is probably the weakest of the four, directed by Lim Dae-woong (Bloody Reunion). Number three concerns a young bride-to-be and the wealthy man who thinks she’s good enough to eat … literally. Finally, we have a mini zombie epic that takes place almost completely in a speeding ambulance.

You know, in the years since I wrote Asia Shock, I’ve found myself watching such films less and less. Seems kind of unpleasant anymore. But then I’ll watch one, and I get sucked right in all over again and wind up having a great time. Go figure. Thanks to Shade Rupe for sending the screener, courtesy of Artsploitation Films. BTW, lest we forget, I coined the term “artsploitation” in Asia Shock back in 2006. You’re welcome.

Yakuza Hunters I and II

If you’re looking for an homage to the grand old Toei exploitation pictures of the 70s, you can’t go far wrong with Yakuza Hunters I and II (2012). First off you have scrumptious Japanese cult actress and former adult video star Asami Sugiura (RoboGeisha, The Machine Girl) running around half undressed (in the first film at least), killing yakuza by the dozen. Her character (conveniently named Asami) was formerly a sukeban (girl gang) boss until her best friend betrayed her and started moving coke for the mob. Things got ugly after that and, well, the ex-friend and the yakuza gang are on her shit/hit list.

Be warned, these films contain oceans of blood and extreme gore — the second film opens with a woman being raped with a chainsaw … yeah, really. And fairly graphically. This shit ain’t subtle. There’s a vicious streak running through these films (particularly the second one) that’s rather repellant. But you can’t say they don’t go over the top. Way over!

The first film is more satirical and sexy, the latter darker and meaner (a baby is put to the sword, various horrible mutilations, etc.), so depending on your inclination, you decide which one works for you. I liked the first one better. Asami has a bunch of other girls who help her with her yakuza hunting, and they tend to run around in skimpy outfits and fight with samurai swords. Yosh!

Asami likes to chop off the pinkies of every yakuza she kills and wears them in a bandolier across her chest (see photo above, click to enlarge). Something about a strikingly hot chick wearing fingers — it’s an image you won’t soon forget. And she has superpowers! She can catch bullets and wing them back at you with the same force, and you don’t want to know what happens when she flings one of those fingers …

Supposedly these films were going to be a trilogy, but wound up condensed to two titles. However, you could be forgiven for thinking there are indeed three films, as the first one has been released with two different titles: Yakuza Hunters: Final Death Ride Battle and Yakuza Hunters: The Ultimate Battle Royale (the second picture is out as Yakuza Hunters: The Revenge Duel in Hell, as well as just plain Yakuza Hunters: Duel in Hell).

Coming soon to Netflix and available on DVD.

Action Girl Grab Bag

Been checking out some not-so-great Japanese films of late. Normally I try to write positive reviews about films I like, but this time out, instead of the Moet & Chandon I normally dispense, well, you're getting lemonade.

First off is Onechanbara: Samurai Bikini Squad (2008). Except it ain't a squad, just one chick in a bikini. And half the time she's covered up in a Man With No Name poncho and cowboy hat combo. She's hot enough, and radiates a tough, Meiko Kaji vibe, but the film is based on a video game, and beyond the zombies and the swordplay, there's not much else on offer.

Speaking of Meiko Kaji, there’s Female Convict Scorpion (aka Sasori, 2008). Nope, she's not in it. Yep, it’s a remake of the Japanese exploitation classic. It’s a Japanese/Chinese (mostly Chinese) co-production, and a bit too torture-porny for my taste. The original was campy, sexy and outrageous. This one is just kind of a bummer. If you enjoy seeing women being cruelly mistreated, with nary a nod or wink, this is your flick.

Lastly, we have Karate Girl (2011), probably the best of the bunch, although when there isn’t karate happening the pace slows to a crawl (endless scenes of villains saying villainous things very slowly). It stars real-life karate champ Rina Takeda. She’s extremely cute and demure, and she can kick your ass eight ways to Sunday. You don’t see that much karate in movies anymore, so this was a nice change of pace.

Next up: A Korean horror anthology I received a screener for …

Champions

Ever since Netflix hired me to tag films for them, I've been getting an unofficial education of sorts. Initially, I was hired on as an Asian film expert, but soon enough things started to splay out, and I found myself assigned to all sorts of cinematic stuff, a veritable grab bag of filmic experience. In addition to numerous kung fu fight fests, I've seen everything from 70s skin flicks to hip hop high school romps to Kazakhstani historical epics.

And documentaries. Lots of documentaries. I've screened documentaries about eels, prescription drugs, film criticism, Steve Jobs, New York cabbies, forensic science, black punk rock bands, Sturgis -- you name it. But seeing as how this blog is dedicated to Asian film, I give you … another kung fu flick. Don't get me wrong, I really liked this movie -- I just wish they'd send me a Japanese film every now and then (haven't seen one since Sadako 3D back in July).

Anyhow, the film I want to discuss is Champions (2008). This film, set in the 30s and concerning a group of martial artists and runners who seek to compete in the Olympic games, was clearly made to rev up the masses for the actual Olympic games of 2008 (there's even a reference to the year inserted into the script). Therefore, it's a bit (or rather very) propaganda-y (yeah, that's a word I just made up). The cheery, let's-go vibe is quite strong at the outset (think hoo-rah, song-and-dance set pieces) but soon enough, things get down to some serious kung fu ass-kicking. Beneath the rah-rah, there is a film eager and capable of opening a big old can of Mantis Grip/Eagle Claw Fuck You and Die in Pieces You Bastard.

There are two villains, an unscrupulous martial arts master and a gangster, and they create most of the conflict in the film. What's most compelling is the size of the opposing groups. On the protagonist side we have Cheung Fung (Dickey Cheung), the smart-allecky upstart, and Kwan Shue Po (Xio Miao), the righteous one, as well as a whole host of locals with skills. And, of course, the bad guys come in waves. This is one of those films where, at any given moment, tons of people flood the screen.

What I used to hate about kung fu films was the elaborate, over-choreographed fight scenes. But recently, and certainly in Champions, there's been a movement away from such tiresome exercises, toward a more compelling (and lightening-quick) style of fight sequence. Fights still go on a bit, but now there's such a melding of speed and technique and wire-fu, plus (taking a page from Hollywood) explosions -- it's POPCORN time!

So if you get Netflix, Champions is coming your way (they give the films to me for tagging slightly before they put them online). I was never a subscriber before they hired me, but now that I've had a chance to check out their offering, I'm impressed with the number of Asian film titles on offer (tons of Korean flicks). I can see why people are tossing their cable boxes and opting for streaming services. Viva la revolution!

Ip Man: The Final Fight

Ip Man (1893 - 1972) was a Chinese martial arts master who famously trained Bruce Lee in the Wing Chun school of kung fu. There's been a spate of Ip Man movies over the last few years, and I just saw the latest one, Ip Man: The Final Fight (2013). Now I'm not the biggest kung fu flick fan, but I have to say I genuinely enjoyed this one. It features the creative efforts of director Herman Yau and star Anthony Wong who, together, gave us such classic 90s Category III films as Ebola Syndrome and Eight Immortals Restaurant: Human Meat Roast Pork Buns (aka The Untold Story). Mr. Yau sure has come a long way since then; this is a high profile, mainstream affair with great production values and a transporting period setting (post-war Hong Kong).

Anthony Wong has been my favorite HK film star since forever (see Asia Shock for details), so seeing him as Ip Man in his later years (Wong is getting up there himself) really made the film for me. Wong has such gravitas, and it feeds perfectly into the role of a noble, charismatic kung fu master living out the last years of his life in 1950s/60s Hong Kong, teaching a group of students (who become his de facto gang) and kicking ass in spontaneous street brawls and within the notorious Walled City of Kowloon.

Keep an eye out for the girl selling barbecue pork buns -- that's an inside joke. And appreciate the use of digital effects to enhance the story. This is a particularly sophisticated take on the martial arts genre, with warmth and insight seldom seen in such pictures. (Geez, was that condescending enough?)

The Gangster

Saw this Thai gangster flick called -- wait for it -- The Gangster (2012). Actually there are a bunch of gangsters in it, but the main character is a super-tough guy named Jod (Krisada Sukosol Clapp). All of the gangsters portrayed were real guys, and the film is intercut with old farts who knew them reflecting on their hijinks.

Actually, "hijinks" is way too light a word for the kinda shit these guys get up to. This is one of the more violent films you're likely to see any time soon. It starts out in the early 60s, when it was just knives and clubs and Elvis hair (these guys had a serious hard-on for Elvis) and runs into what looks to be the early 70s, by which time it was all long hair and guns … lots of guns.

Violence doesn't just explode in The Gangster, it erupts! And, of course there are the usual turf wars and rivalries within gangs leading to treachery. The ending is a bloody barn-burner. I don't want to be Mr. Spoiler, so I'll just say it plays out like a Shakespearean tragedy, if you get my meaning. OK, so I spoiled it for the English majors, but the rest of you nudnicks are in for a shock.

I didn't know what to expect with The Gangster. I'd never heard of it; Netflix assigned it to me. But I'm really glad I saw it, and I encourage those who like Asian cinema and gangster films to give it a go.

Sadako 3D

Just when you thought you'd seen the last of Sadako, that creepy, long-haired ghost girl from all those Ring films, well here she comes again. And in 3D no less. Seems the Japanese are taking a page from the Hollywood playbook and providing a sequel no one was asking for.

Sadako 3D (2012) is about a guy named Kashiwada (Yusuke Yamamoto) who wants to resurrect Sadako. He manages this by throwing a bunch of girls down the same well she crawled out of. Then he makes a video of himself being killed by the ghost and somehow, even though he's dead, manages to post it online. And guess what happens if you watch it? Yep, you DIE. Our Miss Ghost reaches right out of your cell phone and pushes you out the window (or whatever).

Seems that although Sadako is back in action, she needs a human host to inhabit, and has chosen pretty high school teacher Akane (Satomi Ishihara). But Akane has powers of her own ...

Actually, the film isn't that bad. It's got some good jump scares and a very interesting innovation on the Sadako brand towards the end involving a monstrous, quasi-insectoid variation on the young lady that's truly unsettling. Plus the usual array of 3D gags where stuff jumps out at you -- always fun. Should be streaming on Netflix any day now.